By Rabbi Abraham Unger, Ph.D.
Executive Director
This Week’s Torah Portion
Family Above All
In the midst of this week’s parsha – the most dramatic and formative of all Torah portions – there is a seemingly small passing narrative that, to me, may just be the most important value of all, and the reason the Jewish people has successfully weathered so many storms.
Our Shabbat reading recounts the giving of the Torah in thunder and lightning. But, right before revelation at Mr. Sinai, Moses gets a visit from his father-in-law Jethro, known as a trusted and wise advisor. Jethro is chaperoning through the desert Moses’ wife and sons back to his encampment. After all, Moses has been separated from them while doing the majestic work of leadership, getting his people out of Egypt. He is almost too busy to even go out and greet his family upon their return to him as the Jews settle into the wilderness.
Jethro rebukes Moses. He admonishes him for not even taking a few moments to welcome his family back. Really? Does family come second? The Torah here is teaching that no matter how lofty one’s commitment and mission in life, the most significant value is family. Nothing is more important than taking time to be present with them.
Judaism has always been known as a family-centered tradition. Just think of Shabbat, a weekly mandate to break bread and share in gratitude with and for each other, or Passover, or lighting the Menorah. This unbreakable dedication to sustaining the family may just be the secret of Jewish survival.
Weekly Parenting Message from the Parsha
The Power of Family
In my broader weekly message to our congregants this week I noted that in this week’s Shabbat Torah reading, Moses is rebuked by his trusted father-in-law Jethro for almost missing the opportunity to greet his wife and sons when they rejoin him in the desert after he has led the Jews to safety out of Egyptian slavery. Moses was just getting too busy and his sons’ grandfather rebukes him for that.
But, there is something even more significant going on in the text. The most important Torah commentary, Rashi, highlights that Moses was not going to spend time with his young sons as they came back to be with him after his assignment in Egypt. Even a great leader has no excuse not to be present with and for his children. Moses was literally about to receive the Ten Commandments in the narrative, but first, he had to go and be with his children. Even G-d waited, so to speak, for that moment to happen before the Torah could be revealed.
What a lesson! We all lead busy lives. We are overscheduled throughout the week, but Judaism still demands we make time for our children. There is no more important a role than that of being mothers and fathers. All else really can wait. This, I believe, is the core Jewish value most resonant to those who try to carve out a space for themselves within the Jewish community. That space starts with family, perhaps around the Shabbat table, or at a Passover Seder. It never fades. Jethro was a grandfather after all, and he was there too, spending time with his grandsons. Family first. That’s the Torah’s way.