By Rabbi Abraham Unger, Ph.D.
Executive Director
This Week’s Torah Portion
The Power of Words
We are living in a time when we are inundated with words daily. Short clips of phrases bombard us on social media, in popular culture, and in numerous small daily interactions. The Torah recognizes not just the strength of lengthy narratives, but also the impact of succinct clauses that may stick in our minds.
In this week’s parsha, we are warned of the power of words. Laws of vows and oaths are given. The classic yeshiva introduction to the tractates dealing with these Halakhot, laws, is to remember that a human being is a “Medaber,” a speaking creature. A short promise you may utter, such as a vow asserting you won’t do something normally permitted, is significant. Don’t neglect the seemingly quick utterances you make throughout the day; they have weight, and cumulatively, speak to our characters.
Remembering that each of us is a “Medaber,” infused with the talent of communication, recalls our own humanity. Being a speaking creature is not just about big presentations or grant oratory. Our natures are revealed in the multiple verbal moments we take part in daily. The Torah teaches us to be mindful of those passing conversations. Words matter.
Weekly Parenting Message from the Parsha
It’s Okay to be Sad
This coming Wednesday is Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av, the first day of the Hebrew month of Av. It begins a period on the Jewish calendar called “The Nine Days.” These are days of mourning leading up to the fast of “Tisha B’Av”, the 9th of Av. On this day in Jewish history, both the first Temple and the rebuilt second Temple were destoyed. Jerusalem was razed to the ground by enemy conquerers. It is a day of commemoration of the greatest tragedies of Jewish history.
The nine days leading up to this day of remembrance are marked on the Jewish calendar as a time of sadness. We are advised to withdraw a bit from the world. There should be no recreational consumerism; we only buy the necessities, we refrain from as much business as possible, we eat and drink less luxurious foods and beverages (no meat and wine, for example), and no parties or celebrations. We are reticent to take part in the world.
There are times of great joy in Jewish life, such as Purim and Simchat Torah. Tisha B’Av is the opposite. But that’s okay. Sadness, recalling difficult experiences – that’s a natural part of life too. Judaism doesn’t live in denial. Rather, it offers a framing that allows one to move through grief in a communal way, thereby making it socially acceptable.
Sadness is not something we should say doesn’t exist in the world. It does. It’s okay to feel it. But then, by the afternoon of Tisha B’Av, the liturgy reminds us that there is also hope. G-d sees us, He remembers us, and we greet the next day with promise.
As parents, Jewish widsom is counseling us here that our children should, and likely will, go through the ebb and flow of a range of human emotions. Our job is to guide them through these responses, to reaffirm their discovery of their inner lives, and to let them know that each feeling has its place.
There is an arc to being human. The Torah is there as a resource in finding balance and wholeness within our hearts.